December 31st 11PM

I hope everyone has a wonderful, happy, and healthy 2008. I hope everyone in process brings their children home and I hope everyone with kids has an excellent and happy year. Love to all, and thank you all for the support and love during the hell that was 2007. May 2008 be a fantastic year!

December 26

Come out, come out, wherever you are....

Over TWO THOUSAND views since September - wow! I am amazed and, sort of impressed! So, come say hello! I'd love to hear from you.
:D

December 23

Not much new here. We're all sick with a vicious cold (the kind that makes you want to go to sleep and wake up when it's over). DS got over it pretty quickly, which was good, because I want him healthy, but I wish I had his power of recuperation. There's nothing quite like taking care of a rambunctious almost three year old when you feel like your head is about to explode (and wonder if maybe it did, you'd finally feel better). Anyway, I'm perking up finally, so hopefully DH will follow.

I took my little sisters to the Hannah Montana concert last night. that was a wild and fun time. I have never, ever in my life heard screaming quite that loud! We had a total blast, though, and our seats were actually quite good. I never could have guessed that I'd be able to tell people I got seats to the biggest, most quickly sold out concert event of the year - and have that be a concert aimed at tweens. Go figure! Still, it was a total blast, and we had fun just doing the girlie thing.

Well, for those who celebrate, hope you have a wonderful Christmas. I'm ready for the new year and hoping it brings us our children!!!
:)

December 19

So, things are good all around today. Another family with our agency is interested in adopting the boys we turned down. I'm so glad to hear that they are the children another family has been dreaming about. I wish them a happy and healthy life with their new parents.

Our agency called and they are hoping that the next time there is a database change (end of January/beginning of February) that hopefully we will receive our referral. If not, then hopefully the following month. We're keeping everything crossed and we're hoping that it all works out. Think positive thoughts for us, please!!!!

So that's about it. We have some other good stuff going on in our family, but because I'm not totally sure who reads this, I can't announce it yet. I will within the next few days, though.

Hope everyone is doing well and hope we all have wonderful news in the New Year!

December 17

Thanks everyone for all of the support! I'm very very sad to report that we've decided to decline. We had some concerns about one of the children and the process to find out if our concerns were valid was going to be time consuming, exhausting and quite expensive (and that is IF we were able to actually have happen what we needed to.) In the end, we decided to move on. It's been an emotional and exhausting few days, so I may not post an update for a bit. Thank you all for your support and comments. I never, ever thought I would decline a referral, but the second I got the photos, my heart dropped as I recognized one of the children as a child I had red-flagged on the database. there were a few other issues, also. I'm so sad and feel so horrible. I hope these children find a loving home and I hope we find our forever children.

December 12

HOLY FREAKING CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!We got THE CALL today. I'm in shock and I'm completely freaking out. It's not exactly what we had expected, so we're trying to process it all now... We have our bio DS who will be 3 in Jan. The call is for TWO BOYS!!!!! One just turned two in July and the other turned one in September. We had requested a boy and a girl, so we're a little terrifed about the thought of three boys three and under, but we're going to look at the pictues and medical info because we really believe we're being led on this journey toward the children we're meant to have and that could possibly be a lot of boys! Oh man. I'm in a total panic. I think I'm just in total shock! THREE BOYS!!!!! Oy!

December 7

So, I'm starting to really feel anxious about waiting. I really thought the waiting would be teh easy part, but it's a LOT harder than I had expected. It's so emotionally draining. While we were occupied with teh paperwork, it was easy to just assume that waiting had to be easier than the paperchase, but now, I actually sort of miss the insanity. I'm so terrified that something will go wrong and suddenly we'll have a three year old only child, which was never, ever part of the plan. I just want things to hurry up and happen before there are any more changes because I'm always afraid that something will change and we'll lose the basket we've put all of our eggs into. I just look at my sweet boy and think about how much I can't wait to give him a sibling. I'm so glad we're going this route, so he'll have siblings close in age to play with. They'll really grow up together and that's fantastic, if we can just GET THEM HERE!

We heard from our agency the other day and they assume it will be Spring before we hear. There are pluses and minuses to that. We'll have time to finish the house (if we can ever get the frickin electrician to get his butt back here), we'll be traveling during better weather, and DS will be that much older and more equipped to handle two long haul flights. Still... Spring seems so far away as we are just now starting to really hit winter. So, keep us in your thoughts during these long (okay, so they're actually pretty short at this time of year!) days that all will go well when the time comes.
:)

November 23

Hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving. Ours was nice, but it ended with some sad news. A woman I know passed away suddenly and unexpectedly on Wednesday morning and I found out yesterday. I'm sad that she's gone, I'm sad for her husband, I'm sad for her two little girls, and I'm so so so very sad that I haven't been a good friend to her recently. For those who know the situation who read the blog - here's the rest of the story...

I met her in an online due date group. Her sweet DD was born at 25 weeks, and at that point, I found out she was local. I remember following her DD's progress through her NICU stay and her discharge. After my DS was born, we decided to get together at some point. We actually got together fairly often and really enjoyed one another's company. I even babysat her children a couple of times for her. She and I both became involved in an Attachment Parenting group. Through this group, she met another woman (let's call her Sally), and I met Sally through her. It was clear to me that Sally and I would not be close friends. She was very outspoken and loved to say things she knew would be scandalous (she actually nearly got herself arrested once for a situation with her child). We got along okay, but we didn't exactly "click". Anyway, shortly after, this woman joined another playgroup I was involved in. She caused HUGE issues with the other women. Most of them are pretty mainstream moms and I'm the crunchy wacko, which was always fine, but she was crunchy in ways that we were uncomfortable with. She would let her child crawl diaperless on peoples' carpets, she would take him into the bathroom and let him urinate in their sinks (we did elimination communication also, but we only used the toilet!), she would let him run outside naked without sunscreen or bug spray. Basically, just things we weren't comfortable with. That coupled with the preaching caused us to not want to attend playgroup any longer, and eventually, we agreed that each group should only be 6 people, and as she was the 7th, she was not part any longer.

As this all caused a HUGE problem, I was afraid to see her at my friend's house. In the end, my own fear caused me to no longer hang out with my friend, whom I had always enjoyed, and now she is gone and I can't get those months back. I feel awful, horrible, and I really just am ashamed of myself for not being a stronger person. I hope that she is resting in peace and I hope her children will grow into amazing women and will always know how much their mother loved and cherished them. I'm still in such shock over this. You always think you have time to make things right and you never know when that time will be stolen away. I miss you, my friend, and I'm truly sorry I let myself fall out of your life.

November 21

Happy (almost) Thanksgiving! Hope everyone has a wonderful day! Sorry I haven't been on in ages. We've been INSANE!!!!!

We have a 120 year old colonial that is in need of remodeling. We have always dreamed of buying an old house and re-doing it, but we had NO IDEA how much WORK it is!!!!!!!!! Anyway, after four years of living in this house, we're finally hitting the master bedroom. It was fug fug fug with white paneling and a red shag carpet. So, we've never spent a night in there because we were afraid of getting too comfy and worried we'd never attack it. So, finally a week ago we ATTACKED! We tore it all out to the studs and then this week, we've been in the process of drywalling and mudding (with the help of our neighbor) and we think we'll finally be in by the New Year. Basically, our room we're in just isn't big enough for everyone and we fully intend on co-sleeping with the kids when they come home. We need a room big enough for a huge king bed that five humans and three cats can all snuggle up in. So, here's the insanity!

Here's the super fug room. This is NOT our decor!!!!!!!!! This is teh picture from the video we took when we went to the open house. We would never in a million years live like this - yikes!

Here's teh room torn out, wahoo!

Starting to come back together, yeehaw!

November 5

Not much to say, honestly...

We had an AWESOME Halloween! I'll post a pic of DS in his super cool costume at the end, but I realized how much I can't WAIT to have our children home! Next Halloween will be so amazing with THREE kids!!!!! I have this crazy idea to dress them up as Kiss. I am NOT a Kiss fan, but for some reason, my warped sense of humor thinks it would be the most comical thing to open the door and see three toddlers dressed as Kiss. DS would have to be Gene Simmons, because this cihld has the LONGEST tongue, LOL! Anyway, it's starting to hit me that we're really just waiting, waiting, waiting! it's really hard!!! I'm due for my AF this week also, which is a tough thing. We spent a year trying to have a baby, it's very hard to try to avoid, and doubly hard to wait for a person across the world to tell us who our children are. i just can't wait!!!!!
:)

Here's the maniac as a backhoe!
:)

October 25

Waiting, waiting waiting...

I really believed that the moment our dossier was accepted, my entire stress level would disappear. I felt that surely waiting couldn't be stressful - afterall, what is there to actually DO when waiting? Man... Slap me. I keep OBSESSING over the whens and the hows and the what ifs. I'm SOOOOOO anxious! I really can not wait and at the same time, I'm completely terrified! Our entire life is going to change and it's going to be VERY hard for a time - yes, I do know that for everyone who likes to remind me. It's going to be so hard I'll probably not remember much of it later (kind of like the first three months with a newborn!). Still. I can't wait. I just know we're going to end up with the children we're meant to have. I just want to meet them. It kills me knowing they're literally growing up across teh world without me and I don't even know who they are yet. So, I say it again, seriously, slap me.
*sigh*

October 21

Sorry I've been so lax with teh updates. I spent the last week as a single mom who felt like I'd been run over by a freight train! Now, DH is home and I'm on antibiotics for my sinus infection and i'm MUCH better!

So, I also partially didn't post much while DH was gone because I didn't want to advertise on a public blog that I was a woman home alone - I know, call me paranoid, but what can I say.

Anyway, so, we got a call two days before DH left for Russia that one of the regions had closed to new dossier submissions because it had gotten backlogged. So, he was on his way for only one region, which was a bummer, because he had to sit in one region for 5 days for one half hour appointment. Anyway, so he left on Saturday and arrived in Russia on Sunday afternoon. He spent Sun-Tues vegging in his hotel room. He walked around the region and checked it out. He had his appointment at 9AM Wednesday morning and called me at 2AM my time to let me know that we were in teh book, but there was a glitch. I had to send in a power of attorney letter IMMEDIATELY. We hadn't known we had to do that, so I had to get that to our regional coordinator ASAP. I was up and doing it at 9AM, but still freaking out because it was technically not going to make it until the next business day because of the time difference. Still, it was accepted and life was good. We're in the book and we're officiallly waiting for our referral!

It was a very nerve wracking experience and a very exhausting experience for my DH who not only did all of the travel himself, but had to deal with it as a Celiac, not able to eat any gluten and in a country where he doesn't speak/read teh language to know for sure what is and isn't okay. Needless to say, he didn't eat much, poor guy.

So, life is good. I kept saying I'd stop stressing once we were officially waiting, but now that we're here, I'm FREAKING! I can't wait!!!!! How will I manage to not lose my mind for the next 3-6 months? Crikey!

Anyway, gotta fly. Hope everyone is doing well. We're SO ready to bring our kids home!
:)

Sorry!

Sorry I haven't provided more updates. I've been plagued by the sinus infection from hell and just haven't had the energy to really post. I'll get to it soon, though!

WE'RE IN THE BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our dossier was accepted this morning in Smolensk Russia! We're in the book and can't wait to bring home our children! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I promise I'll update more soon, but I wanted to let everyone know we're cleared for takeoff! What a relief! Thanks for all of the support and prayers!
:)

PLEASE KEEP US IN YOUR THOUGHTS/PRAYERS!

So, tomorrow morning at 9AM Russian time, our dossier will be getting submitted. I have lots of story to tell, but I am waiting until Thursday to tell it. I do however want to ask for anyone who checks here to keep us in your thoughts and prayers that our dossier is accepted. I'm SO NERVOUS!!!!!!!!!! Apparently, if it gets accepted, the estimated wait is 3-6 months for referral. Please please please let this happen!!!!!!!
Thank you!