November 23

Hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving. Ours was nice, but it ended with some sad news. A woman I know passed away suddenly and unexpectedly on Wednesday morning and I found out yesterday. I'm sad that she's gone, I'm sad for her husband, I'm sad for her two little girls, and I'm so so so very sad that I haven't been a good friend to her recently. For those who know the situation who read the blog - here's the rest of the story...

I met her in an online due date group. Her sweet DD was born at 25 weeks, and at that point, I found out she was local. I remember following her DD's progress through her NICU stay and her discharge. After my DS was born, we decided to get together at some point. We actually got together fairly often and really enjoyed one another's company. I even babysat her children a couple of times for her. She and I both became involved in an Attachment Parenting group. Through this group, she met another woman (let's call her Sally), and I met Sally through her. It was clear to me that Sally and I would not be close friends. She was very outspoken and loved to say things she knew would be scandalous (she actually nearly got herself arrested once for a situation with her child). We got along okay, but we didn't exactly "click". Anyway, shortly after, this woman joined another playgroup I was involved in. She caused HUGE issues with the other women. Most of them are pretty mainstream moms and I'm the crunchy wacko, which was always fine, but she was crunchy in ways that we were uncomfortable with. She would let her child crawl diaperless on peoples' carpets, she would take him into the bathroom and let him urinate in their sinks (we did elimination communication also, but we only used the toilet!), she would let him run outside naked without sunscreen or bug spray. Basically, just things we weren't comfortable with. That coupled with the preaching caused us to not want to attend playgroup any longer, and eventually, we agreed that each group should only be 6 people, and as she was the 7th, she was not part any longer.

As this all caused a HUGE problem, I was afraid to see her at my friend's house. In the end, my own fear caused me to no longer hang out with my friend, whom I had always enjoyed, and now she is gone and I can't get those months back. I feel awful, horrible, and I really just am ashamed of myself for not being a stronger person. I hope that she is resting in peace and I hope her children will grow into amazing women and will always know how much their mother loved and cherished them. I'm still in such shock over this. You always think you have time to make things right and you never know when that time will be stolen away. I miss you, my friend, and I'm truly sorry I let myself fall out of your life.

November 21

Happy (almost) Thanksgiving! Hope everyone has a wonderful day! Sorry I haven't been on in ages. We've been INSANE!!!!!

We have a 120 year old colonial that is in need of remodeling. We have always dreamed of buying an old house and re-doing it, but we had NO IDEA how much WORK it is!!!!!!!!! Anyway, after four years of living in this house, we're finally hitting the master bedroom. It was fug fug fug with white paneling and a red shag carpet. So, we've never spent a night in there because we were afraid of getting too comfy and worried we'd never attack it. So, finally a week ago we ATTACKED! We tore it all out to the studs and then this week, we've been in the process of drywalling and mudding (with the help of our neighbor) and we think we'll finally be in by the New Year. Basically, our room we're in just isn't big enough for everyone and we fully intend on co-sleeping with the kids when they come home. We need a room big enough for a huge king bed that five humans and three cats can all snuggle up in. So, here's the insanity!

Here's the super fug room. This is NOT our decor!!!!!!!!! This is teh picture from the video we took when we went to the open house. We would never in a million years live like this - yikes!

Here's teh room torn out, wahoo!

Starting to come back together, yeehaw!

November 5

Not much to say, honestly...

We had an AWESOME Halloween! I'll post a pic of DS in his super cool costume at the end, but I realized how much I can't WAIT to have our children home! Next Halloween will be so amazing with THREE kids!!!!! I have this crazy idea to dress them up as Kiss. I am NOT a Kiss fan, but for some reason, my warped sense of humor thinks it would be the most comical thing to open the door and see three toddlers dressed as Kiss. DS would have to be Gene Simmons, because this cihld has the LONGEST tongue, LOL! Anyway, it's starting to hit me that we're really just waiting, waiting, waiting! it's really hard!!! I'm due for my AF this week also, which is a tough thing. We spent a year trying to have a baby, it's very hard to try to avoid, and doubly hard to wait for a person across the world to tell us who our children are. i just can't wait!!!!!
:)

Here's the maniac as a backhoe!
:)

October 25

Waiting, waiting waiting...

I really believed that the moment our dossier was accepted, my entire stress level would disappear. I felt that surely waiting couldn't be stressful - afterall, what is there to actually DO when waiting? Man... Slap me. I keep OBSESSING over the whens and the hows and the what ifs. I'm SOOOOOO anxious! I really can not wait and at the same time, I'm completely terrified! Our entire life is going to change and it's going to be VERY hard for a time - yes, I do know that for everyone who likes to remind me. It's going to be so hard I'll probably not remember much of it later (kind of like the first three months with a newborn!). Still. I can't wait. I just know we're going to end up with the children we're meant to have. I just want to meet them. It kills me knowing they're literally growing up across teh world without me and I don't even know who they are yet. So, I say it again, seriously, slap me.
*sigh*

October 21

Sorry I've been so lax with teh updates. I spent the last week as a single mom who felt like I'd been run over by a freight train! Now, DH is home and I'm on antibiotics for my sinus infection and i'm MUCH better!

So, I also partially didn't post much while DH was gone because I didn't want to advertise on a public blog that I was a woman home alone - I know, call me paranoid, but what can I say.

Anyway, so, we got a call two days before DH left for Russia that one of the regions had closed to new dossier submissions because it had gotten backlogged. So, he was on his way for only one region, which was a bummer, because he had to sit in one region for 5 days for one half hour appointment. Anyway, so he left on Saturday and arrived in Russia on Sunday afternoon. He spent Sun-Tues vegging in his hotel room. He walked around the region and checked it out. He had his appointment at 9AM Wednesday morning and called me at 2AM my time to let me know that we were in teh book, but there was a glitch. I had to send in a power of attorney letter IMMEDIATELY. We hadn't known we had to do that, so I had to get that to our regional coordinator ASAP. I was up and doing it at 9AM, but still freaking out because it was technically not going to make it until the next business day because of the time difference. Still, it was accepted and life was good. We're in the book and we're officiallly waiting for our referral!

It was a very nerve wracking experience and a very exhausting experience for my DH who not only did all of the travel himself, but had to deal with it as a Celiac, not able to eat any gluten and in a country where he doesn't speak/read teh language to know for sure what is and isn't okay. Needless to say, he didn't eat much, poor guy.

So, life is good. I kept saying I'd stop stressing once we were officially waiting, but now that we're here, I'm FREAKING! I can't wait!!!!! How will I manage to not lose my mind for the next 3-6 months? Crikey!

Anyway, gotta fly. Hope everyone is doing well. We're SO ready to bring our kids home!
:)

Sorry!

Sorry I haven't provided more updates. I've been plagued by the sinus infection from hell and just haven't had the energy to really post. I'll get to it soon, though!

WE'RE IN THE BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our dossier was accepted this morning in Smolensk Russia! We're in the book and can't wait to bring home our children! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I promise I'll update more soon, but I wanted to let everyone know we're cleared for takeoff! What a relief! Thanks for all of the support and prayers!
:)

PLEASE KEEP US IN YOUR THOUGHTS/PRAYERS!

So, tomorrow morning at 9AM Russian time, our dossier will be getting submitted. I have lots of story to tell, but I am waiting until Thursday to tell it. I do however want to ask for anyone who checks here to keep us in your thoughts and prayers that our dossier is accepted. I'm SO NERVOUS!!!!!!!!!! Apparently, if it gets accepted, the estimated wait is 3-6 months for referral. Please please please let this happen!!!!!!!
Thank you!

Ocboer 10

Sorry for the week delay in posting! It's been a madhouse here and DS and I have both been attacked by the creeping crud. It's like the cold that never ends - ugh!

Anyway, I had ANOTHER funny dream about our adoption the other night. In my dream, AGAIN,I was teh one who went to submit the paperwork and while I was there, they decided to give me a referral of a little boy. They told me I had to wait until trip 1 to get a girl referral since they were so scarce and I'd have to ask the baby home directly. So, I look at the picture of the little boy and they tell me he was born in early January. I told them that wasn't good because DS was born at the END of January and we didn't want to disrupt birth order. So, they tell me it's okay they'll just change his birth certificate to pretend he was born in February. I look at the picture and he looks JUST LIKE my dad as a little boy and I KNOW he's meant to be in our family, but his birthdate is all wrong and I"m in a panic over it all.

I don't remember much after that, so I think I woke up around then. It was such an odd dream! I wonder how many more weird ones like this I'll have before we actually bring them home?! Crazy!

October 3

Well, I guess I am actually having a little more anxiety about all of this than I realized.

Last night, I had a dream that somehow I ended up going to Russia to submit the docs rather than DH. I went to the MOE in one of the regions and met the facilitator and then headed inside to meet the director. So, I go to meet him, I have the facilitator (which amazingly I somehow remembered what her name is in my dream, no idea how I got that bit of info into my subconscious!) and my agency director with me and I'm sitting at his desk andhe looks EXACTLY like Timothy Dalton, to be more specific, he looks like Timothy Dalton as Simon Skinner in the movie Hot Fuzz (which I have, admittedly, seen too many times!) and for some reason I start slicing up a hunk of pineapple on his desk. Then, he produces plastic toothpicks and we all eat a few pieces. Then, I hand him his gift, which, oddly, is a bag of licorice bites. Then we start talking and he has a British accent. Anyway, after a few minutes, he asks the agency director and facilitator to leave so he can talk to me alone and he brings in some other MOE employee. I realize I'm talking to him while lying on one arm and I sit up and keep chatting. THe other employee says,"you're lucky he's seeing your case as I'd never approve you." When I ask why, he tells me it's because I look like I'm falling asleep and that's incredibly rude and also I'm making direct eye contact, which he thinks is rude and I need to learn the Russian way. So, I'm apologizing like mad and I start trying to talk to them while staring at the middle of their foreheads, but I find I suddenly can't hear them as well when I"m not watching them speak and I start getting panicky. Thankfully, about this point, DS gave me a big kick to the back and woke me up. It was so real and so wild and I was actually quite glad to be woken from that dream! So, yep, guess I have some concerns I hadn't really thought about yet in my conscious mind. Can't wait until the paperwork is safely in teh regions and we're official. That will at least take one concern away! 'Course, it just gives me a million more things to worry about. Oy, does it ever end?
:)

September 27

So not much new going on, so I figured I'd share something old.

The day we signed with our agency, I was FREAKING out! I suddenly had all sorts of fears and second guessed myself left and right. DS wanted to play with his alphabet stickers and so I gave him the giant bucket of foamie letters and some paper to keep himself occupied while I filled out some papers and signed the first check to our agency. I had just finished signing and put the check in teh envelope, full of fear and wondering if we were choosing the right agency, and I turned around and saw this:


If you've been reading, you know that one of the regions we're submitting to is Tver. I knew at that moment we had chosen correctly. G-d let me know through DS's artwork that we were doing the right thing. He had hundreds of pieces to choose from and dozens of blue ones (since he decided to stick to blue on blue), what else could explain this? I hung it on my fridge, and whenever I worry about things, I just look at it and I know that everything will be okay. I used to be positive that hte referral would come from Tver, not Smolensk, but now I know that this was just a sign to let me know things were okay, not necessarily that that was the region we'd be going to, just that we were on the right path. I've sort of held this back, because it's kind of bizarre, but for those of you who remember that I KNEW the date DS would be born, before I was even pregnant, I guess it's just part of what makes us us. So, my DS apparently is just as odd as I am. :)

September 21

Super quickie today. Just wanted to say that DH got his medical forms yesterday - FINALLY! It was quite teh process, but it happened, so whew! DH is applying for his visa today and then we're ready to rock! Three more weeks - woohoo! Anyway, got to run, we have a playdate this morning, and we have to go eat lots since tomorrow we fast (well, not DS, obviously, but I do). To anyone else that is, have an easy fast, and may you be inscribed in the Book of Life.
:)

September 19

Well, we now have a purchased ticket for DH's flight to Russia!!!!!!! We were able to use our miles, so he got a great ticket and we didn't pay a penny - wahoo! Now, time to get our visa. The bad news is, we STILL do not have the paperwork from DH's doctor. I'm getting seriously peeved. He's called every day adn told them every single day how important this is and still - nada. They've promised him by this afternoon. We shall see. I truly have difficulty believing it will happen. Oh yes, I am very peeved.

September 17

Well, we now have TWO medical letters and two copies of licenses (which we were quite concerned about) so YAY! We're still waiting for DH's doctor to do his, and that's frustrating because it's been there for a week today. Still, two out of three isn't too bad! We're hoping to book DH's flight by tomorrow (waiting for a definitive answer from our agency) and we'll be using FF miles so yippee for us saving that cost! Other than that, not much new to report.

I did want to take a moment to just say how adoption has introduced me to so many interesting people and how much it has opened peoples' hearts.

When I called DS's pediatrician, I spoke with the woman in the business office (really a small office across the hall from the receptionist's office). The receptionist didn't know how to answer my questions about getting hte forms filled out by the pedi, so she sent me there. Turned out, she was a wonderful woman with two adopted granddaughters from China! She was so warm and kind and really helped us get the doctor to fill out the paperwork (and make the license copy that she was not thrilled about, understandably). Then, when I needed to find a notary, I wandered upstairs to the lawyer's office above the pedi and the lawyer and the secretary both offered to come notarize for me. In the end, the secretary came, but the lawyer still came down to make sure it had all gone well. AND, they wouldn't take any money. How neat is that?

When I tried to get my doctor's signature notarized, I just had no idea how to go about finding a traveling notary. I looked in yahoo yellowpages adn found an insurance company listed. I called them and the woman who answered told me that they were all notaries. When I asked if anyone traveled, she said no, but then asked me why. When I told her what it was for, she immediately offered to come do it and told me she had an adopted daughter from Korea! She was so fantastic and charged a very minimal fee to come. she was also very sweet to my two year old who was just SO OVER being at doctor's appointments.

So, basically, what I thought would be a logistical nightmare - two different notaries notarizing signature of two different doctors - turned out to be totally fine with no issues and I met some warm and interesting people along the way who are helping us bring our children home. Yep, there really are still good people in the world.

September 15

Well yesterday we had two doctors appointments. I had mine and DS had his. My notary showed up right on time and I got all of my forms signed and notarized and had no problem getting the copy of my doctor's license - yippee! We weren't quite so lucky at DS's appt. Some of his records from his former pediatrician never made it to her office, so she wouldn't sign the form until we got them. Unfortunately, he's on vacation until tomorrow, so it will be Monday at the earliest that we'll get that form. DH's doctor still hasn't gotten back to him, so we have NO idea what's going on there! Hopefully, all of this will get sorted out on Monday and the forms will be on their way to Russia for DH's mid October visit. One month from today he'll be meeting with the MOE in the first region. I'm so excited!!!!! I hope this next month goes by really quickly, I"m just so excited to move forward.
:)